Quotes question...

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#251 by Yorhel
2020-07-20 at 07:42
< report >I added a bunch just a few months ago. Have some more to add, but #216 still applies.
#252 by fllthdcrb
2020-10-05 at 15:36
< report >From Boku to Koi Suru Ponkotsu Akuma.: "It's like I'm coming on tap nowww! Aaaaah!"
#253 by Ileca
2020-11-01 at 08:35
< report >A bunch of quotes I saved for vndb.
Some are still making me laugh out loud, like the Apathy or Starless' ones.

Will: A Wonderful World
If someone were to draw a diagram of my brain right now, it would be filled with the word "fart".

CyberRebeat -The Fifth Domain of Warfare-
M-Miss, w-w-w0uld u l1ke 2 5study w1th me? Well... lol th4t m4d3 m3 s0und l1ke a k1dn4pper lol.
Fine then! I accept your challenge. I'll show you the table manners I learned in my imaginary French restaurant. I fix my imaginary neck tie.

Cannonball ~Neko Neko Machine Mou Race!~
If you were a hair you'd be a nose hair! At least if you were a pubic hair you'd serve some purpose!

Otto no Inu Ma ni... ~Watashi Odosarete, Anata ni Ienai Koto Shimashita~
蓮治さんのオチンチンとは違う、私に優しいオチンチン。 Unlike Renji's penis, this penis is kind to me.

428 ~Fuusa Sareta Shibuya de~
His daughter had been kidnapped, and he was stuck unclogging a toilet.
Right here. The paperwork is here inside my heart.
Nonsense, filth, codswallop, FLIMFLAM!

Lucy - Geunyeoga Baladeon Geos -
One day, I'll also succumb to the reproductive instincts in our DNA and get myself one of those high-frequency-wave-emitting creatures to live together.
To ensure safe sexual practice, Lucy wanted to let master know that an age verification is required before any further physical intimacy is allowed...

Apathy - Midnight Collection ~Vol. 1~
The person I'd called out to had set themselves alight. The air was filled with the smell of charred flesh. ... I'm not gonna be able to eat yakiniku any more now, am I?
What a weak girl, to faint from a little stab in the ear.
...Oookay. There is definitely a massive lump under the duvet. There's definitely someone hiding here.
Ah, but since he didn't react to my feminine charm, he's gotta be gay. Guess you shouldn't judge by appearance!
Attached? ATTACHED? That stupid clingy mutt covered my skirt in stinking, dirty slobber. It wasn't attached to me - it was harassing me!
My love for you is like diarrhea: I just can't hold it in!
Ready... steady... GORGONZOLA!

It was a real hassle trying to clean the place up. Your cum seemed to find its way onto just about everything.
Having to see a dude's penis in the middle of eating makes me start to lose my appetite.
The day's only just started and I'm already up to my elbows in shit. I'm pooped, in more ways than one.
Of course I don't actually say that out loud because... well, I'd prefer to live.
She puts on a serious look and starts speaking with passion. To her, semen is serious business.
Usually it tastes salty and nasty, but this time it tasted kind of like strawberry yogurt.
After you passed out, Lady Marisa was bent on waking you with a stun gun. I had a heck of a time to talk her out of it.
Whoever said that women don't have smelly farts must have never had one fart right in their face. It's not pleasant.
I need to ask. Are you by any chance... sexually frustrated?
I didn't want him to go to waste though so I had him stuffed and used him to decorate my living room.
Funny how so many things come up when all you want to do is pee.
As usual, Marisa persists in her life-calling, that is, abusing people.
If you ever do have a child, you can give birth here. We can hold an event where you give birth in front of a paying audience.
Words can't express how grateful I am. I could even kiss her right on the cock.
Since when was sex an act of deepening trust? I think she watches too many spy movies.
Duh. We just have to inject it into your balls.
I'm not crazy about the idea of jamming a needle into my own balls.
And that, my boys, is how a woman shits. Any comments?

It's very simple. These manju were born in the hot spring. They occur naturally, and were discovered when the hot spring was excavated.
It's like... someone's injecting homemade apple pie directly into my brain.

Kyokugen Dasshutsu ADV - Zennin Shibou Desu
Remove these shorts of obfuscation and let us gaze upon itーーthis so-called "hose"!

Kahanshin Senmon Fuuzokuten ~Stalker Tsuma no Me no Mae de Fuuzokujou to Nakadashi Sex~
彩「おい風俗嬢、あんたのマンコの中にコンクリート流し込もうか?」 Oi, whore, what about we put some concrete inside your pussy?

Roujin Kaigo @ Sex
【エブル・オーンズ】「オーッ  ナイスオンリーファック」
Oooh! Naisu Onrii Fakku!!

Mujou no Erasmus - The Erasmus two-faced stories
There is no spaghetti... !!!!!

Hokenshitsu no Tokubetsu Jugyou! Namaiki Kinpatsu Tsuinte Musume ni Yowami o Nigirarete H na Itazura Sarechau Hen
「バカぁ〜! アホ〜!! ロリコン変態のおしっこソムリエーー!!」
Bakaa~! Idiot~!! Lolicon hentai pee sommelier!!

Corpse Party BloodCovered
Do you have any of that ass medicine, by any chance? You know, the smeary stuff?
Thanks! I'm gonna go butter up my pooper with it real good!
Heh, sorry. It's just that when I see dat ass o' yours, I start to drooooool...

Portopia Renzoku Satsujin Jiken
Tap, tap, tap. Hey Boss. What are you hoping to find with all that taping?
Boss! Mr. Hirata isn't in the area.
Oh, look at this! Just kidding. I didn't find anything.

I know those are not really super funny but I thought it would be great to have some Portopia quotes. Second one will probably only work with people who played it.

Ore-tachi ni Tsubasa wa Nai - Under the Innocent Sky.
What was that! Shit! Dick in ya mouth!

Folklore Jam
If it's a lie, we will be happy to apologize and compensate Momose-sama. Even it has to be a 4 (piiiiiii).

It's 5000 yens for the butt of Kazushi!
Oh, no, it's nothing. Kazushi was just raping Rin in his imagination. Really, excuse him.
No? But you're always grumpy? Oh, are you on your period?
Shuwwup!Last modified on 2020-11-01 at 11:11
#254 by Ileca
2020-11-12 at 07:05
< report >The Letter
Leave and go practice your bloody sodomy elsewhere.
Have I seen you somewhere before? Bloody, you peasants all look the same to me.
That giant negro?

(That last quote will be a nice addition, right?)

You were quite the fat-ass, weren't you?
I've got a photo from when you were fat. Want to see it?!Last modified on 2020-11-12 at 07:06
#255 by Mutsuki
2020-12-18 at 03:46
< report >White Album
"It makes me wonder, Touya-kun, are you letting off some pheromones that draw in idols or something?"
Art is losing out to a pencil eraser.
That (nostalgic) intense pain rushed through my shin once again.

Smile Cubic! -Suiheisen made Nan Mile? After & Another Stories-
They sure ought to release a 18+ patch for that.
"One who chases both breasts doesn't get a single one"

Suiheisen made Nan Mile? - Deep Blue Sky & Pure White Wings -
In which case, for whom do Nakano-senpai's bulges bulge for?
It's silver, shiny and on top of that really inflexible-- what is this, the Mar'ya of the tool world?

Einstein Yori Ai o Komete
"You see, I play 3 H-games a month, so my reading ability has been getting trained well"

Café Stella to Shinigami no Chou
"That time my older childhood friend that I thought was a late-bloomer was re-incarnated in another world as a crafty young man"

Sakura, Moyu. -As the Night's, Reincarnation-
世界はそっと、ため息をつく—— 胸に。瞳に。......心の中に。
The world gently breathes a sigh—— in its chest, in its eyes... and in its heart.Last modified on 2020-12-20 at 02:32
#256 by ginseigou
2020-12-19 at 13:09
< report >Don't know if it's hard to do, but it would've been good if you didn't get the quotes from the same vn in succession. Like I got 3 quotes in succession from Starless or got the same title that I've just seen 3 clicks ago.
#257 by Jazz957
2020-12-24 at 20:05
< report >Yami no Koe III ~Gobou San'yoku Mahoujin~
"Whoa! A talking doll!"

Not the funniest line ever but it made me laugh.

MinDeaD BlooD ~Shihaisha no Tame no Kyoushikyoku~
"You know, this girl's never been with a man before, but she's a pervert who does nothing but masturbate every day."

"Unfortunately, 'common sense' is not in my vocabulary."

(Feel free to fix the translations if I made any mistakes)

Edit: Crossing out the quote because now that I realize what it actually says, it doesn't seem so funny anymore.Last modified on 2020-12-25 at 04:20
#258 by Mutsuki
2020-12-24 at 20:32
< report >#257, doesn't 「あいにく、自分の辞書の中での常識しか持ってないもんでな」 mean "Unfortunately, I only have the 'common sense' that's in MY dictionary [as opposed to the common sense in someone else's]" or perhaps "Unfortunately, I'm only equipped with my own definition of 'common sense'" if it's の中での and しか持ってない. I have no context but I don't see how that's meant to be "I don't have common sense".Last modified on 2020-12-24 at 20:36
#259 by Jazz957
2020-12-24 at 20:38
< report >Thanks for letting me know I misunderstood the line. I missed the "しか” part.

Here's the lines preceding (I omitted some lines before that I thought weren't needed) this quote for context (scene takes place with protagonist in a hospital lobby):

「え? あ・・・・・・どうも・・・・・・」

So yeah, your suggestion sounds most likely.Last modified on 2020-12-24 at 21:13
#260 by Mutsuki
2020-12-31 at 00:52
< report >Sora ni Kizanda Parallelogram
"Tell them you were jerking off in the classroom-- it's probably better than saying you were getting sucked off by your little sister."

"Quit saying how little confidence you have with such confidence!"

I have loads of amusing redundant/typo sentences from this game as well, but I'll call those a miss.Last modified on 2020-12-31 at 00:53
#261 by Ileca
2021-01-07 at 23:12
< report >Yorhel, how do you feel about beyond the border quotes? I still didn't stumble upon my racist quote for The Letter or the fatphobic ones for Root Letter and I was wondering if this was pointless to bring more. I understand that the racist quote has to go as it could be misinterpreted (it was a pretty big wtf moment when I came across it inside the game), the character but not the game being racist, but do you turn them down without exceptions or do you accept quotes with harming content if the game is harming, as a way to point out how fucking awful those games are?

For example, what about link
Well, I just wanted to check if you a Jew. You know, I can't be together with a Jew, for obvious reasons...
I realized that not all Nazis are bad.
Yes, what the flying fuck!!?? indeed.

This is roflmao kind of material but I would understand if you don't want people to stumble upon that kind of content when looking at the bottom of your website. If it raises awareness, it also gives them free publicity. Just want to know your stance.

Yes, I am always ready to push the best debates to the fore.Last modified on 2021-01-07 at 23:15
#262 by Mutsuki
2021-01-07 at 23:22
< report >tbf you did get the "fuck you kill the jap" one through...

i wouldn't recommend getting too controversial for no good reason tho. if it was a really racist vn we could have an entry for it but we probably shouldn't needlessly rock the boat with the quotes.
#263 by Ileca
2021-01-07 at 23:38
< report >
tbf you did get the "fuck you kill the jap" one through...
Guess who suggested this one? :D
It was a Japanese game. The characters go to the US where they are met with this kind of quote casually thrown at their face and people (cops iirc) treating them like shit. At that time, the anti-Japanese racism in the US was strong so you could say it was a form of protest but it was done in such an preposterous way that you could also see that as Japanese own racism toward gaijins.Last modified on 2021-01-08 at 00:16
#264 by Mutsuki
2021-01-08 at 01:02
< report >#263, it's an interesting backstory, but that doesn't get conveyed just by the quote, which is my only concern with dodgy quotes being put in. I just worry that someone's going to make a big deal about it.
#265 by Ileca
2021-01-08 at 02:30
< report >I forgot to ask about lolige. Do you accept quotes that will lead to VN like Iranai Shoujo Kaishuu Shimasu! "Shoujo Post" ~Lolikko Ahegao Ryoujoku Shussan~?
#266 by Yorhel
2021-01-08 at 06:34
< report >I haven't added any new quotes yet since #253, so that's why your new ones aren't in.

I don't discriminate against VNs. If it's in the DB, I'll accept quotes for it, can always add filters later on if necessary. Regarding actual quote contents, eh, if it's funny enough out of context I tend to accept a lot. Most rejections are just me not being particularly amused rather than by it being too offensive. Or when a VN already has many quotes.

That giant negro?
This one I'd reject, because apart from italics not working in the quotes, how is this quote even interesting or funny in any way? :/
#267 by Ileca
2021-01-08 at 09:06
< report >Pure chock value. Sometimes you see quotes and you are like "wtf... the heck is it coming from???"

Come, shit from a million sheep.
One ton per sheep? Just how many month's worth of shit is that?

There is a mistake on "That's Kawai-san, from class 2. She's fairly reowned for being cute."
I also would like "Oi, whore, what about we put some concrete inside your pussy?" to replace "we" with "I". My bad.

OctoberWEEN Special 2017
Always trying to take all the cocks for themselves. They are so selfish and rude.
Oh...you like being the meat in this fuck sandwich Vicky?
#268 by kei-tr
2021-01-09 at 18:22
< report >Yorhel adds quotes every 1.5-2 years. Well, probably it doesn't necessarily mean last two times being like that next time will be like that as well but whatever (last batch of quotes added only 2-3 months ago).

Obviously, for a line to accepted it should potentially be fun not only in context (which means not only for people read that vn) but for everyone read that single line. Other than being fun it might be accepted if it is really cool/meaningful line or some really famous line from a really famous vn.

I don't think racism will be a problem for addition of quotes. Because some "quotes" added were much more offensive than any form of racism could ever hope to reach.

"Eroge? You mean those Chinese porn powerpoints for dudes?"
"A-As long as you're gentle... I'll be daijoubu."
"Are you sure you're okay with this, my dude?

These! Sacrilege! Blasphemy! Do you actually hate their vn? Do you hate their producers? Or is this your stance against translations in general? Do you approve this kind of "translations"? Is that why you added these without a second thought? If that's yes then you just made more than half of community your enemy! Why!? Just why?!? T_T *crying noises*Last modified on 2021-01-09 at 22:44
#269 by Mutsuki
2021-01-22 at 01:32
< report >Shinjisougeki Carnival
"It's all this world is-- either you fuck, or you get fucked."

Hatsukoi 1/1
"Alright, then I'm a groper!"
"Tell her that that anyone who can't understand the appeal of pizza should just turn into a pepperoni offcut"

Kimi to Yumemishi
"It's a cheap trick I can do because I have no voice! I can't read what I said either!"Last modified on 2021-01-23 at 02:13
#270 by kei-tr
2021-01-28 at 16:07
< report >"All men want the women they love to urinate on their faces." v1660

"There it is! The sword art he obtained by suppressing all the sexual urges of his adolescence!" v5
"You must use the cat to fight." v5
"I envy you, Masato. Your answer to the question 'What happened in 1853?' was 'A war broke out between Mars and Earth.'" v5
"No, no, Anego is Anego, that's why Anego." v5
"The very fact that you think of yourself and your muscles as seperate entities is amazing..." v5
"Cat society sure is tough..." v5
"The old woman was engaged in a deathly battle with Tentaclus by the riverside..." v5
"I finally mastered my role as a tree, dammit!" v5
"Living is, after all, losing." v5
"I got kicked out of my room by a cat..." v5

"I am now explaining the concept of sexual harassment to a hero of mythological times." v50

"Then I found out about the insane number of different fetishes that exist out there, stuff I'd never even imagined existed, like an asphalt fetish or a frozen chicken fetish..." v11856
"I thought math was about numbers and now we get all these words and crap like sin and tan! It makes no sense!" v11856

"A scrimmage match for the going-home club? What is that, you come to school on Sunday and then practice walking home...?" v5316
"In a bizarre turn of events, May is now greeting her assailant." v5316
"What is this I hear? Are you trying to diss whipped cream? Is that what your words say?" v5316
"...What? My whole existence amounts to being her brother?" v5316

"My plan was to render her speechless with my manliness, then stride off into the darkness without turning back, all victorious-like." v548

"That's why I'm personally not a fan of those eroge that try to target the casual audience on that Steamo thing. It's like, why not just go that route to begin with instead of making an 18+ game only to rip out the sex-related stuff?" v19444
"Age reveals... are something best avoided... if we wish to exist peacefully." v19444

"That's my Onii-chan! Onii-chan's indomitable mind would even shock the Persian Immortals!" v12992

"You trying to stare words out of me?" v16044
"All you have to do is mate with him, Tsumugi." v16044
"She now looks like a drunken old man who has had a few too many drinks and is about to throw up." v16044
"Having something you love but being forced to only ever look at it without even being able to touch it sounds like torture." v16044
"I mean, the protagonists are all unpopular virgins, yet they get to screw any girl they want. How is that realistic?" v16044
"Please watch me pleasure myself!" v16044
"Does that mean if I kissed you, I'd get to share an indirect kiss with her?" v16044
"What should we do... Maybe I should try and cheer up your crotch? C'mon, little guy! You can do it! You can do it!" v16044

"I was only trying to kill you! That's all, I swear!" v18498
"...For an idiot, you're pretty smart, ain't ya?" v18498
"I assume you were spared because you left your underwear as an offering, Setsuna-san." v18498
"I think it would be better if you died, Setsuna-san." v18498
"Please stop talking to your underwear!" v18498
"Yes, it is. There's no doubt about it. The entire universe would implode, and all because of your failure to use contraception, Setsuna-san." v18498
"That old man... Is wiping his ass more important than saving the world?" v18498
"Bwahaha! I'll just ward them off with my secret technique: Friendly Greeting!" v18498

"Yeah. Everyone gets an urge to pour ethanol onto a fire once in a while..." v15077
"The threat of death during club activities was rather new to me." v15077

"What kind of accident causes you to continue touching both our breasts at the same time for exactly sixty-seven seconds?" v20330
"No... She isn't under eighteen... It doesn't show, but I can feel it." v20330

"I don't want a girlfriend that vents her sexual desires using pizza." v9124
"What does having black tea as your special move even mean?" v9124
"My acting for the part of a dead tree was inredible. Everyone loved it." v9124
"She's cheering the cell phone on." v9124
"Today's Monday, after all. Why wouldn't I be in high spirits at the start of the week?" v9124

"You say that, but you look pale. It'd be an issue if you're stupid when you're wearing glasses." v14265
"I dunno what to think about a guy who has his girlfriend's dad clean his ears..." v14265
"So you want to feel the lingering warmth of her butt from her chair while she's gone!" v14265
"Ironing your shirt... is a dream of mine..." v14265
"A planetarium?... By planetarium, you mean a planetarium?" v14265
"All right! Let's get cracking on making an observatory that rivals the Hubble telescope, then!" v14265

"I wonder what drove him to worship muscles?" v12849
"You sure worry about some strange things. Relax. Anti-gravitons will keep her skirt from flipping." v12849
"She's holding up a laptop toward the sky. Is she offering it to a god or something?" v12849
"So I figured I'd go to a school that was more low-key. That way, whenever big stuff happened, I could grab the spotlight and become a main heroine." v12849
"And I, whose artistic muscles will be hailed as "Mjolnir," work together, we may just pull it off, huh?" v12849
"Turn to the sky, and don't avert your eyes. The answer lies there..." v12849
"You totally did! Being dense is a sin, Hinata-kun." v12849
"How often do you hallucinate hallucinations denying that they're hallucinations? We need to get you to a hospital." v12849
"Not quite. Anyone who can grow from believing they're a genius... is a genius." v12849
"I'm not! My heart doesn't have the processing power to deal with so many inputs at once. Even running Windows 95 on this baby would be questionable." v12849
"Don't worry, people don't come installed with a self-destruct function." v12849
"Senpai... I hate to break it to you, but boobs don't talk." v12849
"She's starting out with a bow to my dick." v12849
#271 by NaioHoras
2021-02-28 at 13:22
< report >Ninki Seiyuu no Tsukurikata
"Oohhh... I can see it... I can see the future where you spread your legs for him!"
#272 by Mutsuki
2021-03-08 at 03:31
< report >Otome ga Tsumugu Koi no Canvas
"What a tragedy! With our pathetically poor imaginations, we couldn't even have imagined that the reason you didn't want cross the thresholds of the auction house was because of the auctioneer's large breasts!"

"You'd never know until you got stabbed... just how their hands holding the knife tremble"

Akatsuki Yureru Koi Akari
「もう覚悟はできています…… 枕を涙で濡らしても大丈夫なようにタオル巻いてきました!」
"I've already made my preparations... I've wrapped my pillow with a towel so it'll be alright even if it gets wet with my tears!"
#273 by NaioHoras
2021-04-13 at 08:09
< report >Clover Point
"Let's degenerate"
#274 by altem
2021-04-13 at 18:57
< report >Reminisence
"lolicon is justice!" or "being a lolicon is justice!"
"lolicon is a crime!" or "being a lolicon is a crime!"

both said by this char.

Otome Riron to Sono Shuuhen -Ecole de Paris-
"I'm a virgin. Nice to meet you."
"My hobby is smearing butter all over my body and letting a dog lick it. My specialty is being raped by various species, and I'm particularly famous when it comes to bestiality."

Meikei no Lupercalia
"So noisy. How are you going to take responsibility if my ears get pregnant?"
"Give me money for financial support then. Since doing so is what it means to be a man."
"Letting my genes go extinct is better than submitting myself to a man, don't you think?"
"I believe that everything will work out as long as there's love."
"Please start your life over, starting from your genes/gender."
"A little sister is not a doll that exists to satisfy her brother's desires."
向き合うのが友達なら 触れ合うのが恋人なら 愛し合うのが、兄妹なのです
"If being friends means confronting each other, and being lovers mean having physical intimacy, then being siblings means loving each other."
"The happier the life we are living, the more we long for tragic stories. And the harsher life gets, the more we long for peaceful stories. It's part of being human, and that's how we audiences feel."

Tsumi no Hikari Rendezvous
"Do you still want to be by my side... even if the path that lies before us is pitch black with no sliver of light to be seen and no one there to help us?"Last modified on 2021-04-13 at 19:17
#275 by Mutsuki
2021-05-12 at 17:14
< report >Koi x Shin Ai Kanojo
"Kunimi-kun, there's something I want to talk to you about. Bring a first-aid kit and meet me out back behind the school building."

"If you're so fixated on the mysterious aspect, then you should go out with an axolotl or something."

"Yep, you're cooler than a mole!"Last modified on 2021-05-12 at 17:24