3/10 Lazy writing

Posted in

#1 by 3i1
2019-06-09 at 06:39
By the book NTR visual novel. But does anyone reading NTR enjoy by the book storytelling? I would think not.

Are all LiLiM games like this? I've been considering playing 'Rasen Sokou no Dystopia -The Infinite Set of Alternative Version-' for the netorare aspects, however after having the displeasure of reading this, I'm having second thoughts.

The story follows our protagonist Hayata as he goes to school and.... there's literally nothing else of note about him, so let's just forget this part.
Also included in the box is your generic stoic expressionless short blue haired kouhai and the old tsundere genki childhood friend plus a mature older one-san type character. A solid harem starter pack.

Our band of misfits need to unravel the mystery about what's been happening late at night on school grounds recently, and save the day.
Except, they never save the day as every route will include nearly all characters apart from the OTP dying one way or another.


All 3 routes are played through Hayata's perspective and every wrong choice will lead to a bad end. It's that simple. All bad ends include the remaining male cast slowly breaking in the female deuteragonist whilst Hayata is helpless to watch.
The male antagonists are capable of transforming into these "Monster like creatures" via the use of some drug given to them by the main antagonist.

The problem is two-fold.
The first issue stems from how Hayata is aware of the female lead engaging in sexual activities with whichever antagonist is in focus. Instead of actually writing an engaging plot and interesting encounters, he literally has some dues ex app on his smartphone that will show him a video whenever the female lead has sex with someone else. Generally, all sex scenes in the novel are when Hayata views these videos.

We later learn that his brother is the main antagonist. We are told that he installed this app on his phone and is controlling everything from the shadows whilst showing him the videos. This is all due to some technobabble medical device which projects the recipient's state into visual data or something. However, his motivations are all over the place and he makes no sense contradicting himself in every route. It's like the writers are holding up cue cards saying "We can't be bothered just get to the next CG scene already!". The game is so poorly put together that in some scenes the CG doesn't even match the writing (Example Akinori anal scene).

All these NTR scenes are shown to the MC (And us) immediately after they occur. As if the writer was incapable of doing anything interesting with this plot point.

The other major issue is that due to every single bad route playing out the same way, the writing just gets stale when you find yourself having been through the same thing 4 times already.
Every bad route will follow the general plot line of "MC is separated from heroine > heroine gets raped > MC watches on his smartphone at a later time > MC is in anguish but ultimately does nothing > rinse and repeat 5 or so times until all commissioned CG for the antagonist of the route is used up > throw in a "at a later date" bad end"
No deviations, nothing.


It's just pure lazy writing. Characters personalities turn 360 degrees and walk away whenever it's convenient for the plot.
In regards to the NTR, our MC is never capable of stopping these NTR scenes. This is due to magic power handwaving, where we are told that his brother has some dues ex power of "Control" enabling him to be able to manipulate his surroundings. Our MC will find himself constantly separated from the heroine when convenient for the plot, etc.

Some vampire backstory is shoehorned in, with a long 10-minute exposition scene that comes out of nowhere where the characters just stand there monologing in two of the routes.

To add insult to injury, the NTR itself is lazily written. Apparently, all male antagonists can bite their victims causing a hypnotic trance state where the female will experience increased arousal. You can expect to see this plot point repeated in nearly every single sex scene.

The only interesting scene is when our protagonist kills one of the heroines in the middle of a sex scene because he believes this will "set her free". It was out of character, but nonetheless interesting to see him make that decision.
Imagine a 10-30 hour game having a single interesting scene. How would you feel?


No amount of fetishism NTR can wash away bad writing, and this visual novel is proof of that.Last modified on 2019-06-09 at 07:43
#2 by sakurakoi
2019-06-09 at 07:20
Sexist. You just don't like it because it was written by a woman.

*(t)rolls away*
#3 by sanahtlig
2019-06-10 at 12:15
Of the ones I've played, Dearest Blue is probably Lilim's best NTR game. There's a focus on suspense, with choices that often have unpredictable (but justifiable) consequences. I haven't tried Rasen Sokou no Dystopia.

Giiga is not very good as an NTR game for the reason you allured to: each wrong choice leads to a series of suspenseless and formulaic H-scenes where the protagonist and heroine have zero agency. It would've been a better game if they hadn't dragged it out and instead wrapped up the arc after one or two scenes.Last modified on 2019-06-10 at 12:15

Reply

You must be logged in to reply to this thread.