2/10 Another one for the pile. NTR VN

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#1 by 3i1
2019-12-02 at 10:38
Verbose.
Just so fucking verbose.
And not where it matters, no we can't have that. The 95% of the game's script is frontloaded in its ecchi scenes, with the remaining being spent on the plot which loosely ties it all together.

The story follows the Yashiro family, as the father of the family "Ryuji" suddenly disappears one day leaving behind a huge debt. The president of the crediting company to whom this debt is financed by forces the family into a series of contracts implying that if they fail to pay off a certain percentage of the interest, their present residence will be seized, as the father used it as collateral in part of the contract. The new contract between the family members basically requires them to pay 50万円 per month for two months.

It game follows the four females members of the family Kyouko, Hitomi, Megumi and Ayano as we see that the president of the crediting company has more planned for them than they first thought. Or male MC is Kouji and his wife is Kyouko to whom married into the family.

Some of you may be thinking, "It's a hentai focused VN, you should have expected a low amount of plot".

However, whilst you may get away with that in a low effort harem school life setting, if the writer wishes to explore infidelity and NTR then you need to at least have some of narrative structure, plot and proper buildup of your characters.

Sex scenes go on, and on, and on, and on. Stretching the tiny amount of content present in the scene into 30-minute exercises of tedium.

Characters personalities switch whenever the route requires it.

It falls into one of the biggest NTR VN traps of bad writing, known as the front and backloaded relationship script. This is where the narrative will spend a large amount of time at the start of the game building up the intimate and trusting relationship between the male MC and female heroine, only to completely reject the male MC from the script after the prologue.
Of course, because of [insert circumstances here] the couple won't engage in sex again during the entire duration of the game's story. The ending of game rolls around and the female MC's body has given into the pleasure of other men etc. Pretty standard stuff here.

The sex scenes completely ruin any enjoyment possibly derived from the game as the heroines simply turn into drones who follow any order issued by the antagonists.
The general dialogue is as follows:
- Antagonist "You like this don't you?"
- Heroine "N-no I don't! I swear!"
- Antagonist: "Yes you do, say you do!"
- [insert 10 minutes of reluctance and moaning]
- Heroine "Yes! Yes! I admit I do!"

Repeat ad-nauseam for every little thing possible, and the sex scenes drag out. I honestly don't know how the writers looked at this script and thought this was okay?

The writer didn't even bother to tie up the routes properly, so each heroine will have completely different endings compared to the main route which is Kyouko. It's just lazy writing.
It feels like all effort was expended in Kyouko's route and the remaining were given the "who cares?" treatment.

For all the time spent at the start of the VN on "contracts" and "debt" you would think there would be at least some modicum of restriction and restraints on the story, but the antagonists just go around doing whatever they want. In fact, the main debt is never even mentioned after the prologue.

The problems in the plot are numerous, for example, Ayano is given 70万円 three days into her route and this fact is never brought up again. The antagonists -constantly- state how the heroines are terrible liers due to their naivety and sincerity, but they someone have no problems hiding the fact that they were raped and blackmailed to the male MC for months. I could go on, but let's stop here, as it's just badly written.

The biggest problem, however, is that the game didn't need to be an NTR VN. All these themes present could have been done without this inclusion, and the writer doesn't seem to know how to write a proper NTR VN, so again why bother in the first place?

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