[hidden spoilers] Story full of cheap twists

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#1 by thefimdoing
2020-09-14 at 10:10
< report >There are twists everywhere, at every point in the story. Haru replaced the briefcase? I know Maou got the ransom and Haru failed. Because it is so obvious.Gonzou's car blows up? I know he won't die. Because it is so obvious. The story obviously tries to shove the idea that Maou is Kyousuke? I know they are different. Because it is so obvious. Haru is about to be killed by Maou? I know she will be saved Because it is so obvious. Maou is dead? I know he isn't Because it is so obvious. Haru is about to die by falling? I know that won't happen. Because it is so obvious. Kyousuke is expecting capital punishment? I know he will be released sooner or later. Because it is so obvious. And a lot more that I don't want to waste any more time writing about, you understand what I mean.

They are so obvious, because you know there is a twist everywhere. The story tries to create tension everywhere, but it fails miserably. Because you know there will be a twist.

The story is, in my opinion, poorly written, but the only thing that made me hate it was these cheap, forced twists. The story has pacing issues, where some scenes take too long (for example: the whole handing the ransom thing). The flow is broken by the constant, unnecessarily long flashbacks, and it tries to make the story thrilling by leaving out some parts to be revealed later, instead of creating "real" mysteries (this is a huge problem too in my opinion, but nothing compared to the twists issue). Still, it was these "twists" made the story unenjoyable for me, they were easily predictable.

If it wasn't for the fact that all characters are pretty interesting, I wouldn't have finished it.

I added a poll, because why not?Last modified on 2020-09-14 at 10:11
#2 by silvercover
2020-09-14 at 10:29
< report >you might have read or seen too much stuff like this to enjoy it anymore. even when I could guess most of the twists, it was still an engaging story to me when you see into the perspective of the characters and their struggles. how its executed is more important to me compared to knowing what will happen, otherwise one will eventually reach a point where most stories aren't enjoyable anymore because you can guess what will happen.
#3 by surferdude
2020-09-15 at 00:49
< report >What pissed me off the most was that in one of the other branches (can't remember which, it's been a while since I read this) Kyousuke clearly IS Maou, because his decisions during that branch shouldn't have had any effect on his yet-to-be-revealed brother's actions.
#4 by scasma
2020-09-17 at 20:43
< report >I've never played the game and I agree.

(if it's anything like 999 as least).Last modified on 2020-09-17 at 20:44
#5 by thefimdoing
2020-09-18 at 11:24
< report >@2 The problem is not that I can guess what will happen next, but it is "how" I can guess it. They decided to use twists everywhere, which made all these twists lose all their value, even where a twist normally would be appreciated.
#6 by kcznsk
2021-04-05 at 17:31
< report >In Kanon route, Kyousuke IS MAOU, otherwise why the fuck would Maou cease his activities when his brother is in love with Kanon? This story is just poorly written.

Since I read Kanon route first, when it was revealed that "Maou was his secret evil brother" I saw this story was going to have a bullshit ending so I didn't even bother to read chapter 5 or anything after it (if that's not the last chapter).Last modified on 2021-04-05 at 17:34
#7 by funnerific
2021-04-05 at 18:56
< report >#6 one theory is that Maou stopped in the first three routes because Kyousuke, his brother he maybe cares about, found happiness - and if his partner isn't Haru, Maou can accept it.
#8 by kcznsk
2021-04-05 at 19:03
< report >#7 I don't buy that theory. Why would maou care about his brother if he is now with Azai Gonzo and clearly doesn't care about what happened with their father? I think the writer just had no idea how to make a love story between maou and Usami, so he just created an evil brother out of nowhere to be able to write a good ending with Kyousuke and Usami.
#9 by funnerific
2021-04-05 at 21:12
< report >#8 you'd be surprised. Familial love "despite everything" is an extremely common trope in Japanese media, and especially Looseboy works: think about the retarded Kanon route, she's very clearly abused by her mother for 100% selfish reasons but comes to accept her anyway! There's a similarly dumb plot point in bokusen, Looseboy's later and much less popular work. So Maou caring makes some sense with that in mind.
#10 by jobforabrokeboi
2021-04-21 at 01:41
< report >Definitely agree. And the thing with Gonzou was just ridiculous, like yeah I'm just gonna believe some OP Yakuza overlord just died like a bitch from a car bomb... Like he may as well have slipped in the goddamn shower, we know he ain't gonna go out like a pussy.

I feel like this game was borderline offensive at times when it thinks you, the reader, are so gullible. Then they further add salt to the wound by explaining in excruciating detail most of the events that take place that the reader can clearly deduce. It's like they think you're 5 or something.Last modified on 2021-04-21 at 01:42
#11 by antherus
2021-04-21 at 20:32
< report >Gee, you'd think people would realize there would be twists, turns, and deceptions in a story whose main themes are twists, turns and deceptions.

Guess it went way over your head, junior.
#12 by jobforabrokeboi
2021-04-21 at 21:28
< report >#11 Themes such as "twists, turns, and deceptions" are only considered such if executed well. The whole point of this thread is discussing how these elements are fucking obvious to anyone with half a brain.

You mean to tell me you were naïve enough to fall for these cheap twists? How do you get by in life? Grow up kid.
#13 by surferdude
2021-04-22 at 19:37
#14 by thefimdoing
2021-04-23 at 09:26
< report >#11 there is a not-subtle difference between a good twist that hooks the reader to the story, and a cheap twist that annoys the reader enough to make him rant about it online. A good twist must pack a punch, be unexpected, have an exciting buildup and make the story more interesting. However, none of the billion twists in this story can be considered good.

I honesty don't understand why the writer decided to resort to such cheap twists when the story is decent (not how that story is told though, especially late in the story. Oh, you have read this for hours now, the story is pushing the narrative that I am Maou by conveniently switching to his POV every time I have a headache, but did you know? I had a brother that died. Now here is an unnecessarily long infodump about his past. some flashbacks etc. Enjoy!) and interesting characters. It didn't need any of this "artificial thrill" and could be a solid 9/10.

Maybe this is just me, but any story that deliberately hides information the protagonist knows from the reader is an instant turnoff.


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