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Love Esquire

Titles
Love Esquire
Love Esquire 非モテ従士は救国と求愛を目指す
Love Esquire: Hi Mote Juushi wa Kyuukoku to Kyuuai o Mezasu
小兵求爱记
Xiaobing Qiu'ai Ji
小兵求愛記
Xiaobing Qiu'ai Ji
Play timeLong (36h58m from 4 votes)
DeveloperYangyang Mobile
PublishersYangyang Mobile & Mama Morin & Eastasiasoft
Leoful
Relations
Same setting

Perfect Gold: The Alchemy of Happiness

LinksVNStat

Description

Love Esquire is a romantic-comedy visual novel/dating simulator, with a nostalgic touch of old-school RPG combat.

In this game, you're not a famous knight, but a good-for-nothing squire who's on a quest to find man's greatest pleasure. Getting the girl won't be easy though, since most of them are waaay out of your league!

To make things worse: you have a few months left before this huge war happens, and the only thing you know is how to milk cows. Good luck cramming years worth of training into four months! If it's any consolation, you get a medal if you die. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

No one believes that a lowly squire can save the world while banging – err, bagging – the girl of his dreams... but with a shitton of dumb luck, well... you might just prove them wrong!

Welcome to the world of Love Esquire, and may the fertility god have mercy on your virginity.

[From Kickstarter]

Hide spoilersShow minor spoilersSpoil me! | Show sexual traits

Protagonist

Squire
HairBlack, Short, Spiky Bangs
EyesHidden
BodyPale, Young-adult
ClothesBelt, Blouse, Gloves, T-shirt
PersonalityCarefree, Friendly, Kind, Lazy, Talkative
RoleNameable, Squire
Subject ofWeakness
Voiced byAlejandro Saab

Description

The squire is probably the laziest and most carefree person in Caerulia. But with only four months left before a deadly war happens, the Squire will stop at nothing to find the girl of his dreams and experience man's greatest pleasure.

Likes: Knights, Drinking, Girls, Cows

Dislikes: Chores, Magic

Main characters

Amelie Boden
AliasesAmy
HairBrown, Long, Thick Eyebrows, Twin Tails
EyesBrown
BodyMedium Breasts, Pale, Young-adult
ClothesBikini, Bonnet, Dress, Fingerless Gloves, Hair Flower, Hair Tie
PersonalityCheerful, Family Oriented, Friendly, Hard Worker
RoleDaughter, Farmer, Merchant, Step Sister
Engages inCooking, Singing
Voiced byMegan Shipman

Description

Amy is a cheery and tireless farm girl who's also the Squire's stepsister. Whether she's busy working at the farm or plaza, Amy makes it a point to find time for her friends and loved ones.

Likes: Family, drinking, cooking, apple pies

Dislikes: Getting sick, nobles

Beatrice Du Cae
HairBlond, Braided Crown, Ringlet, Sidehair, Spiky Bangs, Waist Length+
EyesGreen
BodyMedium Breasts, Pale, Young-adult
ClothesBikini, Bridal Gauntlet, Choker, Corset, Crown, Fur Trim, Pendant Necklace
PersonalityConfident, Himedere, Refined, Sharp-tongued, Smart
RolePrincess
Engages inArchery
Voiced byAmanda Lee

Description

With a sharp mind and an equally sharp tongue, Beatrice is ready to become Caerulia's next ruler. Though she may face a number of troubles before sitting on the throne, Beatrice is more than determined to prove her worth.

Likes: Ruling, archery, music, creampuffs

Dislikes: Gossip, cats

Giselle Renouve
HairBlunt Bangs, Long, Pink, Straight
EyesRed, Tsurime
BodyMedium Breasts, Pale, Young-adult
ClothesBikini, Capelet, Cross Design, Nurse's Cap, Over The Knee Socks
PersonalityAltruistic, Blunt, Bookworm, Hard Worker, Kuudere, Laconic Speech, Loner, Otaku, Shy, Smart, Stubborn, Taciturn
RoleNurse
Engages inReading
Voiced byNatalie Hoover

Description

Soft-spoken and reclusive as she may be, Giselle happily works as a nurse at Caerulia's infirmary. She may struggle with patients, but Giselle is intent on sharing the care and kindness that she found during a rough childhood.

Likes: Books, plants, magic, occult
Dislikes: Bandits, vegetables

Kamala Copperheart
HairClaret, Curtained, No Bangs, Parted in Middle, Ponytail, Waist Length+
EyesBlue
BodyBig Breasts, Nail Polish, Tanned, Young-adult
ClothesArm Cuffs, Decorative Belt, Deep V-Neck Swimsuit, Forehead Necklace, Hair Tie, Necklace, Pendant Earrings, Shawl, Sleeveless Dress
PersonalityAirhead, Curious, Friendly, Refined, Stylish
RoleAmbassador, Foreigner, Princess
Engages inSwordsmanship
Voiced byMelody Muze

Description

Curious and sociable at heart, Kamala volunteered to be an envoy for her homeland. Hailing from the trade kingdom of Alkos, Kamala seeks an alliance with Caerulia in an effort to defend her home from invaders.

Likes: Spices, shopping, travel, festivals

Dislikes: Swimming, dogs

Vel Scharfe
HairAhoge, Antenna, Curtained, Parted in Middle, Red, Sidehair, Twin Tails
EyesRed
BodyPale, Small Breasts, Teen
ClothesBikini, Bracer, Corset, Sleeveless Mini-dress
PersonalityBlunt, Short-tempered, Strange, Stubborn, Timid
RoleMerchant
Engages inFishing
Voiced byKira Buckland

Description

Known as a timid merchant to some and a rowdy tavern patron to others, Vel is considered an odd character by most townsfolk. Whoever she is, Vel is driven by her goal of going back home and living by the sea.

Likes: Drinking, fishing, dresses, chess
Dislikes: Bug, pirates

Side characters

Arnold Boden
EyesHidden
BodyMuscular, Pale, Tall
ClothesBelt
RoleFarmer, Father, Non-blood-related Father
Voiced byJason Marnocha

Description

Arnold is a big guy with a big responsibility - raising his daughter Amy and his adoptive son, the Squire, alone. Seeing the protagonist finally move up in the world, he strives to find a balance between farm work and supporting his kids.

Boss
HairBeard, Brown
ClothesGlasses
RoleBartender, Nameable
Voiced byJesse Cox

Description

Caerulia's tavern is owned by a strapping and high-spirited man who goes by the name, "Boss". Having built the tavern with his own hands, Boss is awfully proud of the place and will quickly dismiss anyone who has bad things to say about it. Boss may be stern at times, but you'' eventually see him being a part of someone's drunken shenanigans.

Hugh Lafast
HairViolet
EyesBlue
BodyMuscular
ClothesPlate Armor
PersonalityLazy, Pervert, Proactive, Protective
RoleInfamous, Knight, Mentor
Voiced bySteven Kelly

Description

The most notorious knight in all of Caerulia, Sir Hugh Lafast also serves as the Squire's mentor. He takes the protagonist under his wing for saving his life and promises to aid him in his quest of finding man's greatest pleasure. Sir High may be a slacker, but he's one of the best fighters in the kingdom.

Pamu
AliasesPamu, the Grand Archivist
HairCyan, Twin Tails, Waist Length+
EyesBlue
ClothesBelt, Thigh-high Stockings
PersonalityPervert
Voiced byKayla Ross

Description

Pamu holds the title of Caerulia’s youngest Grand Archivist. Her great passion for books, especially the lewd kind, granted her such an achievement. Rumors say that she has her own special section in the Archives filled with tales of knightly “camaraderie” and “bonding”. Pamu is also one of the many Caerulians who are happy about the Alkos alliance upon hearing Princess Kamala’s donation of erotic texts to her archive.

Originally a character from the game Crush Crush.

Serena Ives
HairCurtained, Grey, Long, Parted to Side, Ponytail
EyesGrey
BodyAdult
PersonalityFriendly, Mysterious
RoleForeigner, Magician, Shopkeeper
Engages inFlirting
Voiced byCynthia Cranz

Description

A mysterious shopkeeper gracing Caerulia's plaza. Serena sells items that will be needed for the Squire's adventures. When not manning her stall, she can be seen entertaining townsfolk with her magic tricks and other eye-catching performances.