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Review of Muv-Luv Alternative

SubjectMuv-Luv Alternative
Bythatanimesnob on 2021-02-07
ReviewAfter a lazy time reset, the protagonist warns the teacher about what will happen if she doesn’t focus more on finding a way to defeat the aliens. Which is the same thing as telling her not to get drunk and have sex with him while dressed as Santa. Maybe this time she can be dressed as a nurse or something.

She mentions that bogus explanation of infinite parallel dimensions, which is the same thing as saying you are having a new playthrough. In-game, it’s supposed to explain why he is jumping from one dimension to another as if he is Okabe from Steins Gate, but practically he is just replaying the game. And do you know what the scientific reason behind that really is?

His desire. That’s it. He simply wishes to jump in time and space. And since his initial dimension was a picture perfect eroge paradise, it can only mean that he got tired of fucking the girls in school uniforms and wanted to spice up things with fetish uniforms by jumping to this dimension. What a lovely motivation.

The next thing he tries to change is the amount of time he wasted on training, so he goes back to the same squad as before. Why would he even do that again makes no sense, since becoming a soldier has nothing to do with saving the world. But it’s not like we don’t know why he did it either; it’s all an excuse for the writers of this abomination to reuse the exact same sceneries and plot.

So yeah, the story becomes a porn version of Edge of Tomorrow, where you have to suffer through watching the exact same events happening all over again. Even when they could have easily been skipped. His body retained the training he had from the previous playthrough, thus this time every test is a piece of cake. And now you know why the otakus love Alternative more than Unlimited. The protagonist is no longer a worthless beta the girls are making fun of. He is an awesome alpha male that gets the girls wet with his masculinity.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t get to fuck them as easily as before, because the bunny girl has magical powers which will help him to consciously jump dimensions if they spend a lot of time together. And by time together, I mean feeding him like a waifu, waking him up every morning, when he has morning wood, and of course sleeping together, where he can jerk off to her defenseless boobs and crotch.

This makes the other girls really salty, so they refuse to suck his dick for being awesome. But it’s ok, since the game finds excuses to fix that, in the form of father issues. All the bitches suffer from Oedipus Complex at the same time. One of them is a politician, who is impressed by how amazing are the skills of the protagonist. He is worthy of giving him strong grandchildren, so he lets him have his daughter, who of course and has to agree in order to make him proud. Aye, aye sir, just following orders. A father is a secret agent, who is also impressed with the info the protagonist gives them from the previous playthrough. As reward, he is free to bang his transvestite daughter. The things I do for my country! A father was mean with her daughter and she needs someone to comfort her. Southern comfort! A father was imprisoned for desertion and her daughter feels very bad about it. Here baby, I can be your daddy!

The game is openly telling you to have sex with everyone as means to fix problems, just like every porn game does. And then goes as far as using sex drive as a power up that lets the MC to jump back to his initial dimension. But he does not want to stay there before he saves the other dimension. That’s why when he encounters his no.1 waifu, he tries to explain why can’t fuck her right now because he has to fight aliens in a giant robot. She so ironically replies that he can’t distinguish reality from a videogame anymore. Just like the fans of this porn game.

So he find the sensei of this dimension, which as we see loves to teach her students while wearing a blouse that is hardly hiding her breasts. This is normally not acceptable in schools, but then again this is a porn game. What did you expect, a good story? Anyways, the sensei is impressed with his trained body and reveals she never had someone like him before.

Let’s go for jacuzzi together, baby. Fuck me good and I will give you a scientific formula that can save everybody in the other dimension. By the way, this makes no sense. The sensei who was given millions of dollars by the military, couldn’t finish the formula even though the fate of humanity was depending on it. Whereas this sensei who is just a low-paid social worker, created the formula for fun.

And she did it by playing videogames. Because that’s how science works in otaku land, you play videogames and you become a genius. Isn’t it funny how the novel is telling you, videogames make you not distinguish what is real on one moment, before switching it to how you can save the world by being good at videogames? Oh, the hypocrisy!

Some stupid civil war breaks out and America sends in its mecha. The pilots are supposed to be Americans yet they speak in terrible engrish. What did you expect? Native speakers for a porn game? The game openly shows its fascist side by making fun of America and acting like they are the superior country. One of them even destroys all the American mecha by using only a katana sword. And now you know another reason for why the otakus love this porn game.

And while humans are fighting each other instead of the enemy who almost wiped them out, the aliens attack and predictably wipe out most of their mecha with pure edge material. There was so much gore regarding one of the teachers, I can’t even show it uncensored. And now you know why edgelords love this porn game. By the way, none of these events have any thought put into them. The civil war and the alien attack happen out of nowhere so the protagonist is given no time to react about anything. They just pop into existence for the sake of drama.

This makes the protagonist really butthurt because he still failed to save everybody despite being super amazing. And how does a porn game protagonist unleash his frustration? By raping women. And I know what you will say, he probably won’t do it… Hohoho yes he does.

In an actually well presented scene, the protagonist runs away to his initial dimension and cries at the lap of the teacher that got butchered by the aliens, asking forgiveness for failing to save her counterpart. That was actually very touchy. Unfortunately, it is ruined by the slutty sensei constantly making hentai jokes. We can’t have dramatic scenes in porn games, we have to destroy all seriousness with sex.

And if you think the damage stops there, turns out the teacher of his dimension also gets killed by a meat grinder (of all things), thus dying in a similar gruesome way. That’s right, the story doesn’t let him simply return to his dimension and be happy again, it keeps slapping him with more torture porn.

They even try to scientifically explain it as if causality information related to his memories affects all dimensions. In simpler terms, he’s Haruhi. If he thinks about it, it happens. Because that’s how science works. The more he stays in this dimension, the more waifus die in horrible ways and the rest forget who he is because of the causality bullshit and because this porn game needs more torture porn. Thus he eventually uses his willpower to go back to the other dimension, which somehow erases from the continuity all the things he did when he went in the normal dimension. In other words, time reset yet again, nobody died or forgot him, nothing matters, this is all about escapism with no consequences.

But when he goes to the other dimension, his waifu materializes there as well, because… I don’t know, he’s Haruhi, he wills stuff into existence. She’s somehow the result of making a body for that brain they had, based on those notes he brought with him from the slutty sensei. How they managed to do that makes no sense, but then again why do you expect a logical explanation from a porn game?

There is a flashback that explains how his counterpart was eaten alive by the aliens while she was being tentacle raped. And you are just standing there, reading in detail how she really liked it for half an hour. That’s right, it’s half an hour long rape scene. In which she came 50 times before they finally shred her to pieces and preserved the brain. Why did the aliens do such a thing? Because you are playing a porn game full of edge. As we can see, this novel has a scientific explanation for everything. And how does our valiant protagonist fix this dreadful memory she has? By fucking her brains out. Get it? Fucking, brains, eh eh eh.

Anyways, the humans finally remember they have aliens that need to be defeated and a huge operation begins to take out one of their hives. This is where the porn game is actually rather fun, since it’s about giant robots fighting giant monsters, instead of excuses for sex. The animation is shit but compared to your average date simulation, the static images of huge explosions are much more exciting to look at.

Of course the whole thing is still far from good when you know the protagonist is the only male in a large squadron of waifus, all of which are after his D. In fact, some of them can’t even concentrate on the fighting because they are getting frustrated at the thought of having to share his cock, and you have to spend 5 hours talking with all them just so they can calm the fuck down… And by calm the fuck down, I mean fuck.

Anyways, after that the final battle begins and there are lots of casualties. But it’s not like you can give a shit when the protagonist can time travel and jump dimensions whenever he feels like it. The game keeps trying to make you feel sad over the deaths of people you know they are fine in an infinite number of other dimensions. This is not a war drama, it’s just foreplay until the next sex scene pops up. War is such a tragic thing; here let me fill your ass my semen.

They eventually encounter the hive mind of the aliens, which of course and it has to look like a gigantic penis with tentacles, and have this debate on what is life. It is an interesting concept, but it came too late in the story, thus there is no time for exploring it. Also, why is this even an issue; having something telling you it’s alive without being remote-controlled is the same as having self-consciousness, which is something only living creatures would be doing. This debate is meaningless.

They throw the corpse of a waifu at the protagonist for more edge and ask proof that it’s a living being. Ok, let’s see, a basic feature of life outside of intelligence is procreation. Just impregnate her and you have all the proof you need.

Anyways, they destroy the huge dick, the war is over, and all dimensions the protagonist went to have been rebuilt in any way he pleases. Which means he can now go visit any of them and keep fucking all the women with different uniforms and settings each time.

And the game ends with him looping back to the beginning of Muv Luv Extra, so you can relive this bullshit all over again. That’s right, the ending is again a time reset which erases all the death and mayhem you wasted countless hours suffering through, and turns everything back to a generic harem. Nobody died, nobody suffers, everything is a school harem, keep fucking schoolgirls. The end!

That was terrible. If this is the best porn game of them all, you can just imagine how worse the rest of them are. This bullshit is what made time resets and Attack on Titan clones popular. Once again I prove to you all without doubt how awful porn games are, and how the otakus hyping them as mature masterpieces is one of the main reasons modern anime went to shit. That’s what happens when people are not giving praise to Blue Gender, the first and still best post apocalyptic anime of this kind. I wasted 50 hours of my life in playing something that is not even 10% as good as it was. Porn games are the death of anime and I never want to see another one of them in my life.

Comments

#1 by Ninius
2021-02-07 at 21:31
< report >LMAO hilarious stuff
#2 by funnerific
2021-02-07 at 21:48
< report >I'm far from the biggest fan of the game, but this review is a gigantic misrepresentation. It's almost like you played the all-ages version and assume MLA has 20 times more H-scenes than it actually does. You misunderstood a lot of non-H stuff, too - like the setting and the implications of the ending. Which baffles me, because the game isn't even vague about it, so all you had to do was read.

Then again, this review is probably a troll and I just wasted my time.
#3 by llee1000
2021-02-07 at 21:49
< report >I can't believe the REAL thatanimesnob is on VNDB :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD
#4Post deleted.
#5 by why12
2021-02-13 at 06:36
< report >Very good review, people should see this more
#6 by leulight
2021-02-14 at 15:22
< report >Garbage Review but GO OFF
#7 by incel
2021-03-07 at 11:31
< report >absolutely based
#8 by soul5991
2021-11-09 at 04:04
< report >hmm thank you for the review and yeah i only going to see the anime, dont want to read this visual novel because is to extensive [if at least worth it a little more and was only a little less extensive (only 1 visual novel) i can try read but yeah is a saga of 3 games (excluding spin offs) so no thank you] and yes thanks for the recommendation I will check how blue gender isLast modified on 2021-11-09 at 04:04
#9 by insayn
2021-11-17 at 11:25
< report >Holy wtf this review sucks 😭
#10 by insayn
2021-11-17 at 11:26
< report >Don't watch the anime btw it's trash in comparison